You know someone who needs help?
Do you have capacity to help? (Don’t neglect your own health)
If you don’t have the capacity, checking in and asking how they are is important too.
Rather than saying “I’m here for you, what do you need?”
Take a moment to consider what they may actually need and what you can do?
Folks who are struggling (with grief, mental health, stress or a range of things) may struggle to make decisions, may not want to be a burden, may not feel worthy of help.
If you offer a few suggestions, rather than them thinking of how you can help? Do you really want to help? Are you just saying it? Do they deserve your help? Do they have capacity to help?
They can see it’s a genuine, thought out offer and they can them review the offers and modifying rather than coming up with something new.
For example: “How are you, we’ve been thinking of you and want to help, I’m free this weekend if you want me to grab some shopping or pick up and take you to your favourite café. I’m also free for a call to listen any evening or something else if you want.”
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Offer options! (Also be specific if you can, they can tailor it)
“I’ll message you every few days to check in.”
“I can come round tomorrow to help with some jobs?”
“Shall I take the kids out for an hour or two?”
“If it’s all feeling overwhelming, let’s make a to-do list together.”
“Can I do some shopping for you?”
“Shall I bring a lasagne over later?”
“Let’s FaceTime tonight at 7.”
Job hunter specific.
Send over your CV and I’ll review it and your linkedin profile together.
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Tip for those who are struggling:
To remove the guilt of being a burden about ‘whining’ you can preface a deep conversations.
“I’d love to just catch up but I also need to unload, let me know which you have time and energy for”
Other tips:
Watch out for changes in behaviour
The most important thing is to keep an eye on each other and watch for behavioural changes, Quieter? Louder? Angrier? Stops attending usual regular events?
These are key indicators something has changed. It may be nothing but reaching out may really help.
Really worried about their safety?
Ask if they are ok, if they are safe?
If someone is suicidal or in a bad place asking if they are safe won’t make it worse
When speaking to some one who is in crisis or needs help
Make sure you actually listen to the person. Be careful to not belittle their experience. It’s very tempting to offer examples or comparisons from your own life but try not to do this as it can take the focus of them and make it about you or others the person in crisis needs to be listened to right now. Show you are listening by rephrasing what they are telling you.
Related guides: Mental health Support and First Aid for communities (Gaming) – Here for Games Knowledge